Worry wart (be forewarned this is a little tmi & sad)

That's me. I worry about everything. My boy. My cat. My hubby. My house. My vision...

As I watch the slow death of my ability to see clearly I am also losing my mind.

I can't get in any earlier to see the Neuro-Opthamologist. My appointment is 10/18. 23 days away. Every few days there's a shift. The last shift is a separation of the things I see.

So I see in threes right now. Something that is super rare. Think of a Venn diagram. The closer the images are the more I can clearly see it. The more distanced, the more blurry.

I see the main image which is the darkest, then two 'ghosts' that are fainter and overlap. These images are separating. Currently this is at a distance like about 1/2 block ahead of me. Closer is just blurry. It's terrifying to see this and not be able to do anything until I see the specialist. I'm losing my mind because I worry and the what-ifs scare me. What if there is no solution? What if it gets worse BEFORE I get to the doctor and I can't see well enough to drive.

So the why's...There is scant information on it but what I found is scary. It's called Triplopia. it can be from one eye, or the rarest that I have, from both. Its cause can be damage to the Occipital lobe of the brain. I have that. I also have the other possible cause which is damage to the retinas. Both are from my ruptured cerebral aneurysm in 2012. The annie sits at the base of my brain (at the occipital lobe) in my left vertebral artery. The pressure was so great upon rupture my eyes bled inside them. So that's pressure at the back of the eyes pushing through the retinas into the space where clear fluid should be. My eyes were 'fixed'. I had two procedures, one on each eye called a vitrectomy. Outpatient and easy peasy. I still have residual damage in my eyes though. I have a blind spot in my right eye from the rupture permanently damaging the optic nerve, I've lost memories (hubby confirms I've lost things I always remembered), and whatever else the rupture did to the brain.

So yeah, more brain damage on top of my MS🤦🏻‍♀️.

I fully believe the annie is the cause of this.

I'm stressing out. I'm letting it all out here because I have this swimming in my head everyday and it's driving me mad. I want to scream. I want to break down crying. I want it to stop and just be able to see normally again.😞

Did I tell you I hate Venn diagrams too?